Bookish and monastic William wanted a simple job to prove himself to his childhood sweetheart and ended up in the clutches of Feydor, a eunuch and the most manipulative court jester the world has ever known. Thanks to Feydor, the King knights William and sends him on a quest for an aphrodisiac that will energise his relations with the tall and mysterious Queen Ruthenia. Except that the aphrodisiac doesn't exist. Feydor and his vicious dark witch of a mother are actually after Nurragu, the crystal of life, which has lain hidden for millenia under a mountain in the far off land of Sardonica and guarded by a two headed cat. However, there's another witch who wants the crystal and she won't give in without a fight. Meanwhile Feydor the jester is fighting for his life against the priesthood with the help of Filthy his pet monkey, while the witches battle it out to control events half a continent away. On his way, William takes on a squire, crosses a continent, falls in love with the lady Helena, finds a grimoire, survives torture, confronts the gnome-like Janasa, and finally faces up to the guardian cat. Will he learn the true nature of his mission in time to save the world, and the lives of his friends? Will Feydor prevail against the priesthood? Will Filthy get his nuts?